The Principle of Reciprocation states that one should repay favors in return for favors that we receive is a psychological phenomenon in which we feel somewhat compelled to repay what another has provided for us first.
This explains why restaurants often include candies or mints when presenting the bill. (In a study completed by the Center for Hospitality Research, it was found that giving customers fancy chocolates increased tips by 15-23%. In fact, the highest tips were received when the server gave dining parties one piece of candy per person and then “spontaneously” offered a second piece per person.)
In a good blog post in the Harvard Business Review, Steve Martin (not THIS Steve Martin!) points out that positive reciprocation is definitely not the “If you help me, then I’ll help you” variety. Constructive reciprocation requires one to give first without the blatant expectation of receiving something in return.
Indeed, numerous studies have shown that when one extends a service in this manner, those who we “invest” in very often return the favor by exceeding the expectations of scale in their reciprocation:
As Mr. Martin points out, there is also a delicate balance between the aggressive posture of… “Yes, I did help you out and now you owe me” and the much more compliant response of “Hey, it’s no problem. I’m happy to help.” The deficiency of the second response, from a business standpoint, is that it doesn’t really lead anywhere. “Happy to help…I know that if the situation were reversed, you’d help me” is more suggestive; as is…“You are most welcome. That’s what we do for important clients such as you.”
The one big exception to the Principle of Reciprocation rests in overt requests for trade. If someone feels something will be expected if he/she accepts, the power of reciprocation is greatly diminished.
Financial advisors who understand the persuasive effects and nuances of the Rule of Reciprocity can enhance their ability to build stronger networks, create more trusting relationships, and become more influential over others. Some specific examples might include:
"The Golden Rule is not a sacrifice. It is an investment."...Paul Bunyan Walker